The Honeycut: ‘Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis’ is a bad movie, which is why I love it

Welcome to Necropolis

I bet you didn’t know there was a third “Return of the Living Dead” movie, let alone a fourth and fifth one. If you did, congratulations. You officially know more about the “Return of the Living Dead” sequels than I did. 

One night I was hanging out on Tubi as I’ve been known to do. That’s when I came across a screen capture of this Cenobite-looking zombie thing firing a chain gun. I was like, “What is this!? Looks awesome.” So, I added “Necropolis” to the bank. 

When my co-host on the “Midnight Terrors Podcast,” Kevin, asked what movie I wanted to do this week, of course I chose this one. 

So, did “Necropolis” live up to my expectations? Or does it deserve to be shoved into a toxic waste barrel with the rest of the zombies?

The Story

Julian Garrison’s parents were killed the prior year in a car crash, so he’s been living with his douchebag uncle, who works for Hybra Tech (the company responsible for the zombies, basically).

When Julian’s buddy, Zeke, is injured in a dirt bike wreck, he isn’t taken to the hospital, but to Hybra Tech for experimentation. 

When Julian and his group of friends find this out, they break into Hybra Tech to rescue Zeke. However, they accidentally cause a zombie outbreak in the lab. Shocking, I know. From there, it’s a battle against the undead to escape with their lives. 

Honey’s Cut

The first thing I noticed is that although this movie was made and presumably takes place in 2005, it doesn’t feel like it. Like Julian and his friends, I was a teenager during that time. No one looked, dressed, or spoke like any of these characters back then. For example, Zeke looks like a greaser pulled out of a 1950s biker film. Another guy has sideburns like it’s 1973. Yet another dude is wearing this hideous purple shirt, with a giant yellow patch, which would have been peak style… in 1994. What I’m getting at is that one of my first thoughts upon watching this thing is that it felt like it came from five different time periods and a different dimension. Amazing. 

The acting is also stellar. It’s cheesy enough to be hilarious but not quite wretched enough to be frustrating or boring. Perfect. Also, the editing is just the icing on the cake. Oftentimes the scenes last a few seconds too long. For example, when they encounter the first zombie, everyone acts surprised. Fair. Then the scene lingers a little too long and the actors are just kind of looking around with shocked expressions and a slightly unsure demeanor, like, “Was that good? Can we cut?”

To complete the trifecta, the violence and gore are awesome and over-the-top. I was worried that with this being made in 2005, it would all be cheap CGI blood and guts. But I was wrong. “Necropolis” uses all practical effects, as far as I could see, for both the gore effects and zombie makeup. 

The zombies! Okay, so Julian’s parents died a year ago. Well, Hybra Tech has turned them into undead super soldiers. As I said, they look like Cenobites, but on steroids. His dad has miniguns strapped to each of his arms. Meanwhile, his mom has a buzzsaw attached to one hand and a sword thing on her other arm. Needless to say, they pose little threat, kill almost no one, and die in the lamest ways possible without putting up much of a fight. Normally I’d be mad at such cool characters going out so weakly. But it just made this whole thing that much more ridiculous. I love it.

Honey’s Final Thought

If it seems like I’ve been making fun of “Necropolis” this entire time, it’s because, well, I have been. But that’s the thing. This movie is fun. A goofy premise with odd characters, cornball acting, and wild violence, it’s everything I want from a schlocky zombie B-movie. 

It’s one of those films where if I was flipping through the channels back in 2005 at 1 a.m. and found this, I’d have been sold. That being said, would you believe that this was a Sci-Fi Channel original movie? Again, shocking, I know.

I think everything I’ve written combined is really the charm of this movie. Now with streaming on demand, you can watch all the best zombie films you want. Movies like “Train to Busan” and “28 Days Later” are always just a click away these days. You never have to watch a trashy low-budget zombie flick if you don’t want to. But twenty years ago, sometimes the best we could do was “Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis.” And in some weird, cross-dimensional way, that kind of made watching movies more fun.